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  “I got it, Leo.”

  I returned my attention to Lexi in time to see her turn and head for the front door. “I’ll just pop in and meet you at home, okay?”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “Of course.”

  I bit my tongue because there was absolutely no point in pushing her if she didn’t want to be pushed. Instead, I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me to give her a kiss that left nothing to the imagination. “I look forward to seeing you later,” I whispered in her ear before I sucked her lobe into my mouth the way I knew would send a thrill through her entire body.

  She gave me a sexy smile that promised of more later, but when she finally turned and slipped out the front door, I couldn’t help but shake the feeling that not only was our son going through something I was going to have to figure out, but so was his mother.

  Chapter Two

  ~Lexi~

  * * *

  Leo knew me better than anyone, and I could see it in his eyes that he was worried about me. But he’d be even more worried if I’d asked him to pick up the pregnancy test. I couldn’t put that stress on him right now. Not when I could see how he was struggling already.

  No. He didn’t need to know. Not until there was something to know.

  Fortunately for me, Enid Lawson, one of my closest friends, and the owner of the general store, didn’t even raise an eyebrow when she scanned my purchases. She knew my struggle, and she knew me well enough to know that if I wanted to talk about it, I would.

  Enid and I have been friends for years, and besides Nicole, she was definitely my best friend, maybe even more so because I saw her more these days because Nicole and Ryan lived in the city. We saw them quite a bit when they were first married and Leo moved up to Canada. But...life happens, people got busy and now that they were expecting their first child, it was even harder. More than hard. I wanted nothing more than to give Leo another child and Ben a brother or sister. I did my best to be a supportive best friend and listen to all of Nicole’s experiences, but I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t stung a little every time she texted me a picture of her growing belly.

  But more and more, it didn’t look like it was going to happen. Except...I sat in the car outside the house and clutched the box that held the stick that would tell my future. I turned it around in my hands and clutched it to my chest briefly before stuffing it into my purse. I grabbed up the rest of the bags and made my way up to the house. If Ben wasn’t in his room working on his homework, there’d be hell to pay.

  Leo was always telling me to relax a little and give him some more space, but as a mother, that was almost impossible to do. Besides, I was trying. I really was. I’m not stupid, and I remember well what it was like to be a pre-teen and then, even worse, a teenager.

  No. I knew the key to parenting was to give him just enough support to let him know I was there for him no matter what. And trust. Sure, he’d make mistakes, but I needed to trust him.

  I took a deep breath before I went inside. It was hard, but I would try.

  The second I saw Ben’s running shoes in a pile beside the closet—instead of in it—I exhaled hard. He was home.

  Skip, Ben’s dog, ran over to greet me, happily licking my hand as I tried to pet him.

  “He’s home, is he, Skip?”

  The dog looked at me, barked once and took off running. No doubt to warn Ben I was home. “Traitor,” I called after him. “Remember who buys your food.” There was nothing to do but shake my head and deposit my groceries in the kitchen. Skip really was a good dog. A very early gift to Ben from Leo and named after skipping rocks. A skill Uncle Ray had tried to teach Ben right before he passed. He was definitely a special dog. In so many ways. And he was very loyal to Ben, a detail that made me both shake my head and smile.

  A few minutes later, Ben wandered into the kitchen, his head down and looking at his feet that he shuffled along the hardwood in the way that made me crazy. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Ben.” I tried to play it cool. I had to. If I got mad right away, he’d get defensive and any chance I might have of talking to him about whatever was really going on with him would be gone. No. I needed to try a softer approach. “I missed you after school. Did you walk home with your friends?”

  “Nah.” He shuffled to the fridge and grabbed the jug of orange juice.

  “You walked by yourself?” It wasn’t the answer I expected and I tried not to let him see that it took me off guard. “Maybe tomorrow we can walk together? I’ll leave the car at home and—”

  “Maybe.” He poured himself a big glass of juice, and I tried to bite my tongue.

  “Juice is for breakfast, buddy. We’re going to have dinner soon. Your father should be—” I stopped talking when I noticed his face. “Ben? What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  He nodded but wouldn’t look at me.

  “You know, if you want to talk about it...”

  For a second, I didn’t think he’d say anything, but then a single tear rolled down his cheek. He swiped it away quickly, but I’d already seen it. I smiled as encouragingly as I could and that’s all it took for him to talk. “All the kids hate me.”

  His words took the air from my lungs. I fought to maintain composure. “What are you talking about?” I pulled the carton of milk from the shopping bag and did my best to look casual as I put the groceries away, but all I really wanted to do was wrap my arms around my little boy, hug him tight and protect him from the hurts of the world. “That can’t be true.”

  “It is. They make fun of me and steal my lunches.”

  “Your lunches?”

  Ben nodded and sank onto the barstool across from me.

  “What do you mean, they make fun of you?” I dreaded the answer, but I had to know. I couldn’t not ask.

  He dropped his head to the countertop and mumbled something into his arms.

  “What was that?”

  Ben looked up; tears streamed down his face. “They call me a bastard.”

  “They call you a what?” I almost dropped the jar of pickles I was holding, but managed to put it down on the counter before I caused a terrible mess. “Why would they call you such a thing? Your friends? Who calls you that? Boys your age shouldn’t even know that word.”

  “Mom. We all know that word.”

  “What do you think it means?” I prayed he didn’t know the answer.

  “It means you’re not married to Dad.”

  Dammit.

  I racked my brain to think of something I could say that wouldn’t be a lie, but would also make everything okay. I came up empty. But empty wasn’t an option. “You know that’s not true, right, Ben?”

  His face lit up but was also lined with confusion. “You are married to Dad?”

  “Well, no.” I shook my head and nodded at the same time. “I mean, yes. That’s true. I’m not married to your dad. Yet.” It was a yet I wasn’t entirely comfortable giving considering Leo and I had talked about marriage off and on for years and never managed to commit to anything. Which was ridiculous, because we couldn’t be more committed to each other. Years ago, we had a wedding date set, but then the first miscarriage happened and we canceled everything. After that, it didn’t seem like something we needed to do. Clearly, we’d both made an error in judgment. Even if we didn’t think it was necessary to have a ceremony to declare our love for each other, Ben obviously did. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Just because we’re not married doesn’t mean we’re any less of a family. You know that, right, buddy?”

  He nodded, but I wasn’t fooled.

  “It’s not that we don’t want to get married.”

  “Who doesn’t want to get married?”

  Leo chose that moment to walk in the door. He headed directly over to me, where he dropped a kiss on the top of my head before he ruffled Ben’s hair in the way that we all knew he hated these days, but only tolerated from his dad. He had perfect timing and I could have cried from the relief of having backup for this partic
ular conversation.

  “Mom was just trying to tell me why you weren’t married yet.”

  Leo’s handsome face twisted into a sly smile and he twisted his head around to look at me. Shit. He was clearly not going to be the backup I was looking for.

  “Is that right?” he said slowly. “And what has your mom given as an explanation?”

  I muttered a string of words under my breath and shot Leo a look that he would have no trouble deciphering.

  “She didn’t.” With his father around, Ben’s entire presence changed. He stood taller, his shoulders pulled back, full of confidence. “All she said was that it didn’t mean you didn’t love each other.”

  “Well, that’s true.” Leo winked at me, knowing how it melted me. “But it does mean we’ve been really busy for the last few years, and we haven’t had much time to think about planning something.”

  Was that the reason? I’d long ago stopped asking Leo about it. With my parents and Uncle Ray gone, the idea of a big wedding didn’t really appeal to me, and if Leo didn’t care...well, it never seemed to matter much. We both knew how much we loved each other, he’d been able to secure a work visa for Canada, and we were happy. There didn’t really seem to be a reason to go to the trouble. Except...I looked at Ben’s face, so full of hope and question. Apparently there was a reason we’d never stopped to consider.

  “You know what, Ben?” I took his hand in mine and to my surprise, he didn’t pull away as he did more often than not lately. “I think maybe it’s time we made the time to plan a wedding. What do you think?”

  He smiled like the little boy he still was and nodded with enthusiasm. “Yes. Because then I can be the ring bearer and when Marcus was a ring bearer in his cousin’s wedding a few years ago, he got a present.”

  I shook my head. He was nothing if not predictable.

  Leo laughed. “Sounds good, but you can’t be the ring bearer.”

  “What?”

  “Why not?”

  Ben and I asked at the same time.

  Leo wrapped one arm around me and tugged our son close. “Because you, my son, will be the best man.”

  ~Leo~

  * * *

  By the time Lexi and I were done talking to Ben about his troubles at school, I still wasn’t totally convinced that getting married would solve all his problems. In fact, I knew it wouldn’t. But it would be a good thing for all of us, and maybe it would even help Lexi out of whatever funk she’d been in for the last little bit. I knew the miscarriages had been hard on her. Hell, they’d been hard on both of us, but there was no way I could understand how she’d felt losing the pregnancies. That much I knew.

  I watched her from across the bedroom as she carefully folded her sweater and tucked it away in the closet. God, she was beautiful. The last few years and everything her body had gone through hadn’t changed a thing. At least not in my eyes. I knew Lexi thought differently, which was why she instinctively turned away from me before she took her t-shirt off and pulled her pajama top over her head.

  Damn. It had been way too long since I’d had my hands on her skin. Little over a month. Not that I was counting, but I remembered the night well. Ben had a sleepover with his buddy, so I’d made a romantic dinner, brought home a bottle of wine, which she didn’t partake in—she never did anymore—and we’d sat on the deck talking, wrapped under thick blankets on one of those rare warm fall nights. It had been a great night together time, followed by an even better time between the sheets.

  A low growl rumbled in my throat. God, I missed her. And I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to do anything about it. I dropped the book I was holding onto the bedside table and crossed the room in two long strides. She jumped a little when my arms wrapped around her waist, but I pulled her close so she was pressed up the length of me. My body responded instantly to her shape. The heat of her penetrated the thin cotton of the pajamas I wore.

  “Leo. What are you—”

  I quieted her questions with my lips on her neck. Her hair was soft in my hand as I stroked it and pulled it to the side to give me better access to the silky skin on her neck. Her body shook gently when I moved my kisses around to her earlobe. I knew exactly how sensitive her neck was, and even though it had been awhile, her body responded readily when I sucked her lobe gently into my mouth, swirling my tongue all around her ear, tracing the edges before darting in, just enough to make her moan.

  I pulled away and whispered, “I think you know exactly what I’m doing.”

  The sigh that escaped her lips was all the encouragement I needed to slide my hands down her sides, tracing the swell of her breasts with my hands as I moved down. I skipped quickly over her abdomen; my hands rested on her hips before I pulled her even tighter against me. The woman had never failed to drive me completely wild.

  “Leo, I—”

  The last thing I needed to hear was any kind of objection or excuse, so I spun her around in my arms and kissed her sweet mouth until she melted into me.

  ~Lexi~

  * * *

  I could think of a million reasons why I shouldn’t have sex. Not the least of which was an unused pregnancy test still tucked into my purse. But with Leo’s mouth on mine, sparking feelings in me that only he could bring out, all rational thought went out the window. All I could think about was how it had been too long since we’d been intimate without the pressure of making a baby. I almost told him about the test in my purse, but when he kissed me as if he needed me to breathe, I pushed it out of my head and focused only on the man in front of me. The way it should be.

  He lifted me easily as if I weighed nothing and instead of protesting, I wrapped my legs around him and let him back me up against the wall. My hands slid across his bare chest, still as chiseled and hard as it was when we’d met, only now the muscles were more defined from years of living in the mountains: chopping wood, shoveling snow, and all the rest of the physical labor that came with it. He’d never looked sexier, which is why it was so crazy that we weren’t intimate more often. Was it me? Was it—

  “Lexi.” His voice interrupted my train of thought and I turned to look into his dark eyes. “Stop thinking so much.” He kissed me hard. His hand cupped my face and held me firmly in place before he pulled away. “Just let go, babe.”

  So I did.

  I wrapped my arms around him, and returned his kiss with a ferocity I hadn’t let myself feel in far too long. Leo was right. I thought about everything way too much when all I really needed to do was stop thinking and just enjoy the moment and the man I loved.

  He groaned in appreciation and I could feel his desire grow even harder against me. “That’s what I’m talking about.” He turned and carried me effortlessly to our bed, where he placed me before he grabbed the hem of my pajama shirt and tugged it over my head. Reflexively, I moved to cover my chest, but the look in his eyes stopped me.

  Despite the changes my body had been through, this man still thought I was the sexiest woman alive, and in that moment I knew it was true. At least for him. And that’s all that mattered.

  I raised my arms up and lifted my hair off my back in a slow move, never letting my gaze leave his. I could see the desire darken in his eyes as he took in my body from my neck down to my exposed breasts. My nipples pebbled under his intense scrutiny and that’s when I let my hair fall, cascading over my shoulders before I reached forward and tugged his pajama pants down over his hips. My hands lingered on the tight muscles of his behind. They flexed under my fingers so I dug in, just a little.

  Leo made a sound halfway between a groan and a growl and moments later had kicked his pants to the side and hovered over me, a look of pure primal need on his face. It sent shivers through me and when he dropped his mouth to kiss me again, I was all but lost to him and the desire he stirred in me.

  “I need you.”

  “Babe, I need you so bad.” Leo tugged my panties off, throwing them somewhere behind him, and in the next instant was inside me. Almost cautiously at first
and as he filled me, I sighed in deep satisfaction. Any tentativeness was gone as he drove home his need for me.

  After, as Leo pulled me close so my back was pressed against him, he stroked my arm. His fingers traveled the length of me and a contentment filled me until it threatened to overwhelm me. A tear slipped from my eye and down my cheek. I dared not move to wipe it away, but Leo noticed anyway.

  “Lex? Are you okay?”

  I nodded but didn’t trust myself to speak. The rush of emotion was unexpected and way too much.

  “Lexi?” He slipped his arm out from under me and sat up, rolling me to look up at him before I could bury my face. “What’s going on? Did I hurt you?” It killed me to see how his eyes flew immediately to my stomach. How had it happened that we’d gotten to this point?

  I shook my head quickly. “No. I’m fine. You didn’t...I’m fine.”

  Confusion clouded his eyes, but I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling when I didn’t even know myself.

  “Honestly, Leo.” I tried to force a laugh but it came out more like a strange choke. “I’m fine. I don’t know what that was all about. I mean.” I reached for him and pulled him back down to lie next to me. “That was amazing.” I stroked his back, letting my fingers trace patterns on his skin. “We should do that more often.”

  That made the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile. “Yes, we most definitely should. And I think now is a good start.”

  I laughed as he kissed down my arm, sending tickles through my body while at the same time his hands slid up my thighs.

  “Okay, okay.” I swatted his hand away, because as much as I would like a repeat of what we’d just enjoyed, I also needed some sleep if I was going to be of any use to my class tomorrow. Because I’d been so busy talking with Ben about his problems in class, I hadn’t gotten around to grading the students’ papers, so I’d need to set my alarm to get up early and complete the grading.