All We Never Knew Read online

  Nope. It wasn’t worth risking the awesomeness of it all. So she’d kept it to herself.

  “So?” Sienna’s voice reminded Rylee she was still waiting for an answer. “Can you come over or are you busy with—”

  “Hey.”

  Rylee’s heart did the little flip-flop it always did when she saw Brice. When she turned around and saw him leaning against the locker next to her, looking effortlessly casual, and oh so cute with his hair flopping over one eye, her mouth stretched into a grin that she prayed wasn’t too goofy.

  “Hey.”

  Behind her, she heard Sienna sigh but Rylee ignored her and leaned in to meet Brice’s kiss. They’d done it a few times since Friday night, but it still gave her all the feels.

  His lips were soft and he tasted a little like cinnamon hearts. Rylee had never liked cinnamon hearts until that first kiss. Now she couldn’t get enough.

  “Oh?”

  On some level, Rylee vaguely registered Sienna’s surprise behind her and again felt that stupid guilt gnaw at her.

  Dammit. She should have told Sienna about her first kiss.

  The last thing Rylee wanted to do was stop kissing Brice, but it was a little hard to focus with her best friend’s glare burning a hole in her back. Reluctantly, she pulled back and touched her fingers to her lips before turning to face her friend.

  “So, maybe later…”

  “Forget it,” Sienna snapped. The hurt was all over her face and she wouldn’t meet Rylee’s eyes. “I didn’t realize…” She waved her hand aimlessly between Rylee and Brice and dropped it limply to her side. “I’ll see you later.”

  Despite her frustration with Sienna, when she turned and started to walk away, Rylee wanted nothing more than for her to come back. “Sienna,” she called after her. “Wait.”

  She didn’t even pause.

  “Forget her.” Brice put his hand on her shoulder and reflexively Rylee leaned back into his touch.

  The bell warning them that class was about to start rang and she slammed her locker shut. “I have math.” She adjusted the pile of books in her arms and noticed for the first time that Brice didn’t have any. “I should go.”

  He shook his head and his smile twisted into a wicked little grin. “Nah. Let’s cut.”

  “Cut?”

  “Yeah. Let’s go. Math sucks anyway.”

  Her parents would kill her dead if she cut class. They would absolutely lose their shit. Rylee shook her head. “No way. I have a quiz.”

  “What’s the big deal? It’s not a test, is it? Besides, aren’t you like getting a hundred in that class, brains?”

  More than anything, Rylee hated it when he called her brains. It wasn’t true, anyway. She was only getting a ninety-five.

  Maybe missing one quiz wouldn’t hurt too badly.

  She glanced down the hall that was quickly emptying out as kids popped into their classrooms, then back at Brice. The idea of spending the next sixty minutes with Brice’s arms around her, his lips on hers, was way more appealing than trigonometry.

  “Come on,” he urged.

  “I can’t.” She bit her bottom lip to keep from changing her mind and responsibility won out. “Not math. But I have Spanish next. I can leave then.” She was getting a hundred in Spanish.

  His lips twitched up at the corners. “Deal. I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

  He gave her a kiss on the forehead and disappeared in the opposite direction as Rylee watched him until the next bell rang, startling her into action. She sprinted to her class only moments before Mr. Sheppard closed the door and started handing out the quiz papers.

  Maren

  PlayTime Structures wasn’t a small company, but with only about forty employees, it wasn’t one of those giant corporations where employees became just a number on a list somewhere. It was small enough that you could learn everyone’s name, but big enough that there was always something going on. Maren had taken immediately to the family-like atmosphere at the office and they’d treated her well through the years as she’d taken on more and more tasks in her role of an assistant account representative, and had quickly become an integral part of the team, but stopping just shy of taking on any real responsibility.

  Eileen Sands, Maren’s direct boss, never could understand why, despite her desire to learn about the company, Maren continually turned down Eileen’s repeated offers to recommend her for the position of account manager. She’d been pushing Maren for years to take on the role.

  Maren’s days of saying no were over because this year was different. When Leslie retired, and the position opened up, and Eileen once again asked her whether she was interested, Maren wasn’t sure who’d been more surprised when her answer had been yes.

  It hadn’t been planned, and Maren hadn’t even given it any real thought, but something had just clicked at that moment and she’d agreed to put her hat in the ring for the position.

  That had been over a month ago and finally the day of the meeting was here. Eileen assured her it was just a formality and she was a shoo-in for the position, but still, nothing was a sure thing until the offer was on the table. She was nervous and her tumbling tummy wasn’t helping matters at all.

  She’d made it through most of the morning without throwing up again, but there were a few moments that were definitely touch-and-go. More than one of her coworkers had made a comment about how pale she was when they came by to wish her happy birthday and good luck on the promotion, and more than once she’d gone to the restroom to splash water on her face and try in vain to cover up the distinct pallor on her cheeks with a compact she’d found in her purse.

  It didn’t seem to make any difference.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Maren jumped when Eileen came up behind her at the sink. She handed Maren a paper towel and she blotted her face dry.

  “I think I’m just a little nervous is all. This is going to be a big change.” She quickly caught herself. “I mean, if I get the job.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t trying to say that—”

  “It’s okay.” Eileen chuckled. “I know what you mean. And yes, it will be a big change for you, but you’re ready. Hell, you’ve been ready for years. I know you had your reasons for waiting, but you do know it’s possible for women to have careers and families, don’t you?”

  Maren nodded. It was the same discussion they’d been having for years, but Eileen wasn’t a mother and she didn’t understand the demands and pressures of it all, so Maren just smiled the way she always did.

  “No matter. You’re ready now.” She patted her arm and her forehead creased in concern. “Are you feeling well enough? If you need to go home—”

  “No!” She caught herself and said it again, softer. “No. I really am fine. In fact…” Maren took a moment to assess the older woman who’d been more than just a boss to her for the last five years and decided it would be not only safe to confide in her, but it could also be helpful. She took a breath. “I actually think it might be menopause, Eileen. After all, I am forty now and…” She stared at the other woman as she burst out into laughter.

  “I’m sorry,” she said after a moment. “I don’t mean to laugh, Maren. And while menopause isn’t the death sentence so many women treat it as, I really don’t think you have to worry about that for a few years yet.”

  Taken aback, Maren tried not to let Eileen’s obvious humor get to her. She was grasping at straws because it couldn’t just be a flu bug, but without any other options…

  “It must be a bug then,” Maren said. “I just can’t seem to shake it.” She turned back to the mirror and once again started to apply makeup in an effort to give herself some color.

  “It might be a bug.”

  Something in the way she said it made Maren turn around. “What do you mean?”

  Her boss and mentor grinned. “I’m not saying anything.” She raised her eyebrows. “Except your symptoms are more like the opposite of menopause.”

  “Pubert
y?” Maren tried to make a joke, but Eileen was starting to sound dangerously similar to Jessica earlier.

  “Okay,” she conceded with a smile. “Maybe not quite the opposite. But I think you know what I mean.” She walked to the door of the restroom but hesitated. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were pregnant, Maren.”

  Eileen didn’t wait for her to answer before she slipped out, not that Maren would have been able to form anything logical to say.

  There was no way.

  People needed to stop saying that. It was getting annoying and more than a little concerning.

  She was on birth control. There was simply no way it could happen.

  Stranger things…

  Maren did a quick calculation in her head. It had been almost three months since her last period, but it wasn’t unusual for her to skip some now and then. After over seven years of dealing with birth control pills, her doctor had recommended an IUD, and no periods was a common side effect of the IUD. She hadn’t had a regular menstrual cycle in years. Besides, if that’s really what it was, she would have been sick ages ago, right?

  It couldn’t be…

  In her pocket, Maren’s phone vibrated with a message.

  * * *

  Meet you in 5?

  * * *

  She glanced at the time. It was almost noon. Sabrina was meeting her for a birthday lunch at the cafe down the street from the office. She’d said it would give her luck before the big meeting. And maybe it would. If Maren could keep anything down.

  She took one more look in the mirror and in a last-ditch effort, pinched her cheeks for a little color.

  Maybe she’d better make a quick stop at the pharmacy, too.

  * * *

  Sabrina was waiting at the cafe when Maren got there almost ten minutes late.

  “You’re late.”

  “Sorry.” She took the seat across from her friend and reached for the menu. “I got held up with a few things at the office.” She tucked her purse under the table and tried not to glance at it or the shopping bag tucked just inside—the real reason she was late.

  “But you’re here now. I ordered you a glass of wine.” She gestured to the glass in front of her. “After all, it is your birthday.”

  Maren glanced at the glass but there was no way she could drink it. “Thanks. But I’m still not feeling perfectly after the party. I don’t know if I’ll ever drink wine again.”

  Maybe not for nine months or so anyway.

  The thought came out of nowhere and was so mortifying, a strange garbled sound escaped her throat.

  If her friend noticed Maren’s discomfort, she didn’t say anything. Instead, Sabrina shook her head and gazed at the glass longingly before dropping a napkin over it. “I didn’t think you’d had that much to drink,” she said when she looked up. “But then again, you are getting older. We just can’t drink the way we used to.” Her hands went to her stomach. “Or at all right now. Less than three more months. Not that I’m counting.”

  “Right.” Eager to talk about anything else, Maren jumped at the opportunity to change the subject. “How are you feeling, anyway? Is the baby starting to kick the crap out of your bladder?”

  “And everything else.” Sabrina put her menu down and laughed. “I swear, this little guy is going to be the next David Beckham.”

  “Little guy?” Maren couldn’t have hidden her surprise if she’d tried. And she didn’t. Sabrina had gone back and forth in her decision to find out the sex of the baby. But the last time she’d checked, it was a hard no. Something about there being so few surprises in life and how we should take them where we could get them. Considering she’d found out that Rylee was a girl long before she was born, Maren obviously didn’t share the sentiment and apparently, neither did Sabrina. “Seriously? You found out? I thought you didn’t want to know.”

  Across the table, Sabrina nodded and shrugged at the same time. “I changed my mind and once I did, I couldn’t wait.”

  “I totally understand.” Maren reached across the table and squeezed her friend’s hand. “I don’t know how you held out so long. And…a little boy? That’s awesome.”

  “It is, isn’t?” Sabrina didn’t look so sure. “I mean, I don’t know the first thing about boys, not that I know anything about babies at all really. But if I’m being totally honest, I was kind of hoping it would be a little girl. I mean…” Tears sprang to her eyes and she swiped at them with her free hand. “Little boys should have fathers, right? And I’m going to be doing this on my own and…”

  “Hey.” Maren reached for her other hand and squeezed them both together until she looked her in the eyes. Seeing the distress on Sabrina’s face broke her heart a little bit. She’d never known her best friend to be unsure about anything. Was it because she wasn’t telling Maren the truth about the father? “You know, Sabrina…” Maren hadn’t planned to say anything because of course Davis was right—Sabrina would have told her already if there was anything to tell. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more. “There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about, you know that. I mean, if you want to talk about the father…”

  Sabrina pulled her hands away and stared at Maren before blinking slowly. “What do you mean? I used a donor.”

  “Right,” Maren said quickly. Maybe she’d been way off base. “I guess I just had this silly thought that maybe the baby was Ryan’s, or…it doesn’t matter.” She waved one hand to dismiss the ridiculous thought before she upset Sabrina. “And none of that matters anyway. The most important thing is that you are going to be an amazing mom.”

  Sabrina looked as though she were going to say something, but finally she shook her head and chuckled a little. “Thank you.”

  “Honestly, Sabrina.” Maren took Sabrina’s hands again and once more squeezed them in an effort to impress upon her friend just how serious she was. “You’re a strong, sensitive, awesome person. You’re my best friend, an amazing auntie to Rylee, and you’re going to make the best mother to that little boy. And I have no idea why I said that other stuff. Besides, you’re not alone. Davis and I are here for you every step of the way, you know that, right?”

  Sabrina’s eyes dropped to the table but she nodded and after a moment, looked up with a small smile on her face. “Thank you, Maren.”

  “Of course.” Maren released her hands and reached for her glass of water. “That’s what I’m here for.”

  While Sabrina pulled herself together, the waitress came over and the women placed their orders. By the time they’d ordered their lunch and got some refills on their water, Sabrina was once again in control of herself.

  Maren reached for the glass of wine out of reflex, but stopped herself when she remembered the little box that was hiding in her purse, just under the table. “Anyway.” She once more reached for her water and steered the conversation. “I’m really glad you know it’s a boy.” It was easier to focus on her best friend’s baby. The one she wanted and was excited about, rather than her own unknown situation. Especially because Maren knew deep down she was just being ridiculous and completely overreacting. “I can send out an update to your shower invitations so you don’t end up with a bunch of yellow stuff. And the decorations, oh, the decorations. I’m going to have so much fun looking for just the right things, in blue. It’s going to be great.”

  Sabrina shook her head with a laugh. “The shower isn’t for another few months, Maren. You don’t have to go totally crazy.”

  “Have you met me?” She laughed. “I love it. Besides, you totally spoiled me when Rylee was born. It’s finally my turn to return the favor. I’m not going to lie—I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the chance.”

  It wasn’t a stretch to say that at all. Maren had completely given up on the idea of Sabrina having children.

  As much as she loved Davis and their life, there were times Maren couldn’t help but envy her best friend’s carefree lifestyle. Still, she couldn’t be happier for her that she was finally
settling down a little and Maren was thrilled to finally get the chance to be an auntie to Sabrina’s baby.

  While being a mommy to my own.

  For the second time since breakfast, her eyes inexplicably filled with tears. But she couldn’t let herself go down that train of thought. There was no way she was pregnant. She was just being ridiculous and letting people like Eileen and Jessica get in her head. The only baby was going to be Sabrina’s.

  End of story.

  “Maren?”

  She shook her head and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re not upset with me, are you? I mean, I wasn’t even going to find out the sex of the—”

  “No. Sabrina, it’s fine. Really.”

  She tried to force a smile and even laugh about how crazy she was being, but to Maren’s horror, the tears kept coming, which only seemed to fuel Sabrina’s need to apologize for everything.

  “Please don’t be upset. It really was a last-minute decision. I was just lying there and they asked and…”

  Sabrina herself sounded as if she were on the verge of tears, and that would really set Maren off. Especially because her friend really and truly had nothing to do with why she was crying.

  In fact, she had no idea why she was crying.

  “Sabrina. I’m totally okay.” Maren tried once again to pull herself together and the young waitress chose that moment to arrive with Sabrina’s sandwich and her bowl of soup. She gave each of them a look and quickly backed away. “It must be a birthday thing.” Maren gestured to her tears and tried to laugh it off. “I’ve been a bit of a mess today.”

  “I thought you were excited about forty?”

  “I really am.”

  “So, what’s with the tears? What’s going on?”